Can I be denied contact with my child?
Not lawfully, by the other parent's say-so. Contact is one of the parental responsibilities and rights the Children's Act recognises. A mother has full parental responsibilities and rights automatically. So does a father who was married to the mother. An unmarried father acquires them too - if he was living with the mother in a permanent life-partnership when the child was born, or if he consents to be identified as the father or pays damages under customary law, and has in good faith contributed to the child's upbringing and maintenance for a reasonable period.
Where a court order or registered agreement is in place, withholding the child is not merely unlawful - it is a criminal offence, carrying a fine or up to a year's imprisonment. What no one may do is use the child as leverage: contact is the child's right to a relationship with both parents, not a reward for good behaviour between the adults, and it may not be traded against maintenance. A court can limit or structure contact, but only on proper grounds with the child's best interests as the standard.
What is a parenting plan and do we need one?
A parenting plan is a written, signed agreement between the holders of parental responsibilities and rights, settling how those are exercised - where and with whom the child lives, maintenance, contact with each party and with others, schooling and religious upbringing. It must meet the best-interests standard, and it can be registered with the Family Advocate or made an order of court, at which point breaching it has teeth.
Do you need one? If the two of you are managing, no - the Act leaves you be. But if you are experiencing difficulties exercising your responsibilities and rights, the Act requires you to attempt a parenting plan before going to court, with the assistance of the Family Advocate, a social worker or a psychologist, or through mediation. Courts take that sequence seriously. A well-drafted plan also prevents the next five arguments, because it answers them in advance.
What does the Family Advocate do?
The Family Advocate is a state office that stands between warring parents and the court. It enquires into the welfare of the children in a matter, mediates, assists with and registers parenting plans, and furnishes the court with a report and recommendation on what serves the children's best interests. Courts attach real weight to those reports.
It is not only for divorcing parents. The Constitutional Court confirmed in 2023 that parents who were never married - and married parents not going through a divorce - are entitled to the Family Advocate's services in the same way. Unmarried fathers' disputes about their parental rights are in fact required to go to mediation, and the Family Advocate is one of the doors.
What if the other parent moves away?
Within South Africa, a parent with care may generally decide where to live - but the move does not dissolve the other parent's contact. Where an order or registered agreement is in place, the person with care must notify the other in writing of any change of residential address, and failing to do so is a criminal offence. If the move makes the existing arrangement unworkable, the arrangement is varied - the practical difficulty and expense of keeping contact alive is one of the factors the best-interests standard expressly weighs.
Leaving the country with the child is different altogether. Departure or removal from the Republic, and a passport application, require the consent of every guardian - usually both parents - unless a court orders otherwise. A parent who will not consent can be overridden only by the court, and a parent faced with a threatened removal can act quickly. If that is your situation, do not wait.
Can grandparents apply for contact?
Yes. The Children's Act allows any person with an interest in the care, wellbeing or development of a child - grandparents first among them in practice - to apply to court for contact with the child, or even for the child's care. The court weighs the child's best interests, the relationship between the applicant and the child, the commitment the applicant has shown, and any contribution made towards the child's birth and maintenance.
Being cut off from grandchildren after a divorce or a family fallout is one of the quiet griefs people assume the law cannot help with. It can.
How quickly can something be done?
It depends on the matter and on the court. Where a child is about to be removed or genuine urgency exists, a court can be approached urgently; where the dispute is about restoring or restructuring contact, the required first attempt at a parenting plan takes its own time - and is often quicker than a fight. We will tell you at the first consultation which path your facts justify.
Do I have to come to your offices?
We would prefer it. A great deal is lost over email, and these are matters where sitting across a desk from one another makes a real difference. Where the distance genuinely makes that impractical, we consult by video call instead.
Can you advise me by email or WhatsApp?
No. We advise in consultation. A message is the right way to arrange an appointment, but not the right way to receive advice on something this consequential.
What should I bring to the consultation?
Any existing agreement, parenting plan or court order, and a record of what contact has been denied and when. If you have nothing, come anyway - it is better to start the conversation than to wait until the file is tidy.
How do I make an appointment?
Telephone 087 133 3595, or send the short form on this site. We will contact you to arrange a date and time.
